


Maybe One Day

by GhostOfLight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: College AU, F/F, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 12:57:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4565487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfLight/pseuds/GhostOfLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Peridot and you wish you knew that you were already in love with her. (Peridot POV)<br/>College AU. Predominantly Lapidot but one-sided.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on a true story . I was debating whether to have Pearl/Lapis or Jasper/Lapis end game but Jaspis struck closer to home for me. I don't even ship them so I have no idea why these are my life choices.

**1\. Hello**

The first thing you noticed about Lapis was how blue her fucking hair was.

You were rushing late for the first meeting of the year with the student PA’s when you saw her outside the door, humming a little tune to herself as she stood. You waved and silently mouthed _‘PA Meeting?’_ and she smiled and shook her head.

You remember the panic you felt at being wrong and how you could literally not afford to fuck up your scholarship when an obnoxious fart noise rang through your ears and your head turned to her, her eyes twinkling as she said she was kidding.

It was exasperation at first sight.

\---

“Your girlfriend?” You asked, as you had dinner with Pearl, one of your fellow PA’s, and the blue haired girl.

“Yes, I’ve mentioned Lapis before, haven’t I?” She looks at you curiously; as if that was the first thing she told you when you first met.

“I don’t remember insufferable being one of the descriptions.” You muttered as you shoved more pasta inside your mouth. At the same moment, the girl started to giggle.

“Has anyone ever told you how you have such a striking resemblance to actual cannibal Shia Labeouf?” She laughed. You raised a brow at the comment and were about to retort when she held a mirror in front of your tomato sauce–stained face.

“She _is_ kind of right, Peridot.” Pearl stifled a laugh, before the two burst into 10 year old laughing fits.

It was exasperation at second sight.

 

 

**2\. Teach Me**

“Why the hell would I need to find the exact distance from a pizza shop to Disneyland when all I’m going to be doing with my life is go Beethoven on a piano.” The blue haired Music Major clenched her teeth as she angrily tapped her calculator.

“Because math is a practical subject- _that’s not how you compute for it_ \- and you need to have other skills- _no, you just can’t add that in anywhere!_ – Besides knowing how to play Für Elise better than a 6 year old.” You said, giving up on her work and just ending up erasing her entire solution.

“Well excuse me, Miss I-Do-Maths-For-Fun. Not all of us give too much of a damn to know the distance between my house to a sex shop because we’re all busy just driving there anyway!” She pouts, crossing her arms as she watched you solve the problem.

“I-I don’t do college algebra for fun!”

“Yeah, you do financial accounting too.”

“Th-that’s—” You stutter as you couldn’t exactly deny that last one. Balancing equations in accounting was basically solving a complicated Sudoku puzzle. It’s mind-enriching!

“Oh my god. It’s not even your major, you gigantic nerd!” she laughed, flicking you on the nose. Your cheeks flush into a rosy hue. You were about to retort when Lapis’ phone started ringing frantically.

"Hold on, must be Pearl.” She sighed, swiping the screen.

You nodded and put on your headphones, drowning out their conversation to give them some privacy. The math problem was a bit of a doozy to solve so you took your time with the solution when you noticed how Lapis’ voice was starting to compete with Homeworld’s techno dub.

“It’s _just_ tutoring, Pearl! Holy shit, do you actually think I would- we would?” Lapis slammed her fists on the table in frustration. You weren’t meaning to, but you lowered the volume on your phone inconspicuously to hear all the hubbub.

“Well how was I supposed to know you’d be willing to help me now when for the past few months I’d ask, I’d get the sorry answer of ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy. Next time?’ and that’s it?” Your pace in answering the question slowed.

“You know what, fine. Okay Pearl, I’ll leave. Bye.” Lapis finally conceded, shoving her phone inside her pocket.

“I’m guessing your girlfriend is going to be your new tutor now too?” You smiled sympathetically to Lapis, helping her gather her things.

“Ugh, she gets way too jealous too easily! Just because I’m with you, doesn’t mean I am automatically cheating on her!” She ranted, stuffing her College Algebra textbook in her bag. “It’s not like you’re even interested in having a relationship at all, I mean, you’ve made it clear with everyone.”

There is a pang of uncertainty that suddenly creeps in your heart, but you shake it off.

“Yeah, haha. Even if you’re shit in remembering equations, I’m glad you remembered that.” You chuckled.

“Ugh, you’re equally impossible as well!” She laughed, hitting you playfully with her backpack. “Well, gotta go. See ya, nerd!” She grinned, engulfing you in a tight hug before giving you a light peck on the cheek.

“Yeah, sure.” You slightly smiled, closing the door.

The feeling in your heart has started to ache.

 

 

 **3\. Help Me**.

“I broke up with her.”

You were busy minding your team line up before facing the Elite 4 on the latest Pokemon release when she just suddenly sat next to you. Her words, no matter how softly spoken they were against the music in your game, immediately bought you to look at her blank face.

“You want to talk about it?” You asked, turning off your console.

She shakes her head and immediately laid her head on your lap, tired. You shift slightly uncomfortably at the weight when she speaks up again.

“I don’t regret it though.” She said, reaching for your hand to play with your fingers. “She was a controlling ass who never really got over Rose and I’m glad we finally broke up for good.” The wind beats against your back and your thoughts.

“2 years though.” You whistle. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah, 2 years of control, annoyance, and just plainly being like some rebound.” There is bitterness in her voice, sharp and unrelenting. You release your fingers from her own and comb them over her hair, calming her down.

“You’ll be okay.” You smiled slightly, looking down into eyes as deep as the ocean.

“I know.” She grinned. “I’ve got you anyway!” She reached out and pulled you down, only to hit your forehead against hers.

“Ouch! You idiot, what the hell?” You sputtered, rubbing your sore forehead.

“I couldn’t help myself Peri. You looked way too cute!” She laughed. You flushed at her comment and stood, walking away from the laughing girl before the exchange of apologies and joking between you two ensued.

Man, she really does have the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen.

 

 

 

**4\. Play With Me.**

“No way. You know each other?” Jasper’s mouth is agape when she catches you two playing Resident Evil in your house. You rolled your eyes as you paused your game to get some pizza off the coffee table.

“Didn’t I tell you that 3 months ago during Professor Diamond’s class?” you muttered, letting the tomato sauce dribble slightly from your mouth.

“Oh yeah. Well you can’t blame me for forgetting when the more significant thing that happened that day was the sudden graded recitation that popped up as soon as you were done whispering!” She growled, getting two slices of pizza.

“I told you she was going to be giving graded recitation that day!”

“Yeah, after your nerd ass had to remind her!”

“Alright, you two sweethearts better break if off or I’ll start to think I’m the sad third wheel here.” Lapis smirked, grabbing your hand to feed herself off your share. You sputter at the sudden motion, blushing at the closeness of your fingers to her mouth. Jasper doesn’t fail to notice the two of you and raises a brow.

“More like I’m the sad third wheel.” The big boned girl mused.

“Nah, Peri here’s much too in love with her video games and text books to even notice lil’ ol’ me!” Lapis dramatically sighs as the back of her hand makes it way to her forehead for the added Shakespearean flare. You mutter insults as the two of them erupt into giggling fits.

“Gotta hand it to ya Dots, she knows you damn well.” Jasper smirked.

“Well the nerd isn’t that hard to get to know. After you get past the condescension and dumb Pokemon references.” Lapis laughed, finally grabbing her own pizza. You rolled your eyes.

“So am I missing something or don’t you two seem to know each other. Like a lot?” You grumbled, starting a new game.

“Jealous?” Lapis grinned.

“Wha- I’m no-!!”

“Relax, I was kidding!” the insufferable blue-head laughed. “I’m in the swim team and she’s in the basketball team. We see each other during practices sometimes.”

“She means she once collaborated with Amethyst for a water balloon prank at the court which led to an all out water fight between the basketball team, swim team, and dance troupe.” Jasper said, sipping her soda noisily.

“Best. April 1st. Ever!”

“Coach knows you go to the court even though you’ve been banned from there for the rest of the year and next.” Jasper laughed, sitting next to Lapis.

There is a sickening twist in your stomach as the lively conversation of three started to move to a space where your voice could not be heard and an invisible cloak was now draped on your entire being.

_“No way, I thought you looked familiar!”_

_“Of course my sweet Pearl would never think to disclose more details about our high school romance.”_

High school. Jasper told you it wasn’t really anything.

_“Seriously, a dolphin tattoo? What are you, 5?”_

_“Oh shut up. As long as coach doesn’t see it, I’m off the hook.”_

Lapis never told you about any tattoo.

_“See you at the court next week?”_

_“You’re still banned, Lazuli!”_

_“That’s what they all say!”_

They laughed and said their goodbyes to you; Jasper ruffling your hair like a pet dog and Lapis giving you a big hug. You smiled and waved at them before closing the door.

You don’t remember being included in their plans.

 

 

**5\. Laugh With Me.**

“You know I’m shit when it comes to shopping, so why in the maker’s name did you bring me out here to shop with you?” You groaned, trudging alongside the annoying blue-haired girl.

“Oh lighten up Peri. You aren’t really replying to your texts _(you can count the messages with your fingers)_ You haven’t left your house for the past few weekends _(your game companions are wonderful)_ , and you haven’t been eating properly! _(it’s not like you had a sport physique you had to keep up)_. You should be thanking me for this!” Lapis exclaimed, looking at each window with inquisitive looks before shaking her head dismissively.

“Ugh, whatever. What are we even looking for?” You asked, flipping open your DS to let your mind wander about electrical rodents and aquatic mammals.

“Some vintage shirt with the band name **Homeworld**. I heard that there was a shop that carries a shirt with that but I can’t remember which!” Lapis grumbled with frustration, sighing as she moves on to the next store.

“Homeworld? You mean the Homeworld that made that hit _‘Malachite’_? I thought you said you hated their sound when I let you listen to them.” You asked then your lip quirked into a snide smile. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re finally starting to see them our way.” You grinned, nudging at her.Her cheeks flushed at the sudden comment and your smirk has now become a shit-eating grin.

“I knew it, you did totally dig them! Now you’re much of a nerd as me!” You laughed, clapping your hands with your discovery.

“I don’t!” She retorted. “It’s not even for me!”

“Aw come on, they’re not that bad.”

“No really! Peri, I’m serious. It’s not for me.” She said, raising her tone a little and dashed it with annoyance.

“Hm? Then who’s it for?” You mused.

“Uh, it’s for…” The way her fingers fiddle with each other catches your eye. You don’t know why, but you find yourself holding your breath.

“It’s for Jasper.”

_Oh._

“She was talking about how she could never get a hold of this stupid band shirt because her coach is a sack of shit and she never has time to shop or do anything outside training anymore so I thought maybe I could surprise her.” She grinned sheepishly. “And you’re Lord fuck-the-mainstream so I thought you could help me!”

If you could put into action and words the feeling of not knowing whether to cry or laugh or scream or just fade into the black, then that is exactly what you did. Calmly. Very calmly.

There is a conversation that goes on between you two as you pass the stores looking for that stupid shirt. It was a conversation you couldn’t hear or feel because that feeling that has been gnawing inside you since the two of them finally met in your house has developed into a beautiful but destructive black butterfly.

“You think she’ll like this?” She asks you timidly as you walked her back to her dorm.

 _She’ll hate it._ “She was the one who first introduced them to me. She’ll go fucking nuts on this!” You assured her.

“Good.” She grinned, dimples showing and the crinkles of her eyes are just so fucking cute and

“Hey.”

It’s 10 pm and your mom is going to fucking kill you if you stay anymore later than this time but you stop on your tracks anyway.

“What’s up?” You asked.

“Can you keep a secret?”

It’s almost a whisper.

“I’ve kept your stupid bra you forgot that’s still in my drawers for almost 2 months from the last sleepover, so I think I can do that too.” You laughed. 

Tension.

“Oh come on, this is serious!” She glared, her nostrils slightly flaring. So you stopped. There is a new glaze in her eyes, a look that you’ve never seen before and it turns knots in your stomach. Your head screams to make you stop going deeper into this conversa-

“I think… I think I like Jasper.”

_Oh._

“..Yeah. I think she likes you too.”

_Ha._

_Ha ha ha._

_Ha ha ha ha ha._

And she’s dancing under the moonlight with you as she waltzes in happiness, revelling in love that’s fulfilled, revelling in the happiness that your word is true, because you know Jasper, you know them both, and she’s revelling in the possibility of kissing her and being kissed back.

But she doesn’t feel the way you hold her a little too tightly, doesn’t hear the way you laugh a little too loudly, doesn’t see the way your eyes have been tearing and she doesn’t see.

She doesn’t see.

 

 

**6\. Stay With Me?**

“I still can’t believe you made me watch that horror film last night.”

“And I can’t believe you could actually scream 8 octaves higher than your normal voice.” You grinned, helping her clean her stuff up.

\---

_“Hey, can I sleep in your bed tonight?” She asked timidly._

_“Are you seriously that scared?” You laughed, turning off the TV._

_She hits you with your pillow that initiated the call for the stereotypical event of pillow fighting in all female sleepovers and you both laugh at how utterly ridiculous this entire thing is. She is every bit serious though, with her request to sleep in your bed and you can’t help but thank and curse the gods for this._

\----

“So will you finally get your stupid bra or am I going to have to hold on to it for 5 more months.” You asked cheekily, reaching to her the undergarment.

“Oh shit, yeah!” She gushes, snatching the offensive material away from your hands.

Both of you laughed at the amount of time that piece of clothing has spent in your closet even after so many sleepovers have occurred.

\---

_You were holding her last night in your bed as she swore profanities at you for letting her agree to watch a horror movie with you for $50, and you laugh it off and thank her for the money to buy a new game. She calls you a nerd and you call her a chicken. A sudden ring emerges and she rises from the sheets and picks up her phone._

_“Yeah, we’re about to sleep. No you stupid cheeto, I mean like sleep sleep. You’re coming back tomorrow right?”_

**_It’s okay._ **

_“Right. Okay. Same place right? I love you!”_

**_You’ll be okay._ **

_And she goes back and lies down, clinging to you because she’s a fucking scaredy cat and thinks that Sadako will actually find its way to New York and kill her and you laugh again, because that’s what you do when you know how you’ll never forget the way she fits so perfectly with you in your bed, or how she smells like mint tea leaves and the ocean, or how dead but soft her hair is from the amount of bleach she’s used._

\---

“Alright, that’s everything, yeah?” You asked, helping her carry her bag downstairs.

“Yeah, that’s everything! Thanks so much for tutoring me in Calculus again! God knows what my dad’s going to do if I flunk this stupid class.” She grumbled, opening the door.

“Yeah, yeah, something along the lines of ‘dishonour to the family poodle’ or whatever. You leaving or missing your train?” You raised a brow, hanging one of her bags to her shoulder.

“Oh fuck. Fuck, okay. I’m leaving. We’ll do this again?” She asked. There is silent pleading in her eyes which she doesn’t voice because goddamn that girl still has some pride. Even if she’s a wimp with horror movies.

“Well you’re still shit in your other math classes, so yeah.” You smirked and she sticks her tongue out to you.

“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes before smiling and giving you a big hug.

“Thanks again Peri! Love you!” She grins, simultaneously waving and dashing to the streets immediately in the hopes of managing to catch the train on time.

And you smile.

_“I love you too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I never realized how emotionally taxing this was to write until I finished writing this and editing this.  
> Imprison me in sad gay baby prison please.


End file.
